He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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