STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
