i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
