Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
