Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
