He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
