Welp...herpes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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