You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
