I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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