the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am midnight drunk by noon
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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