Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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