The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
