i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
