nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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