is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
