Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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