I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
