We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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