idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
