Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
