so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm too high and old for this...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
