lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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