My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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