Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
