I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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