umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
