he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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