based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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