i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
