Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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