we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
