just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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