let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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