We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
