I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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