My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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