Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
