He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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