Kiss
Puke
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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