I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize