He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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