omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize