why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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She even gives head with a lisp.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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