Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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