Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
