remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
