and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They took my balls.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
