Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
