what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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