so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
