I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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