insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
did i just pee glitter
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