Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
