one might say we're banned from that church
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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