I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
