i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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