All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
