Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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