Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
