idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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