At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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