I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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