Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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